notes comments on Days 207-211: Kiev

"Days 207-211: Kiev": comment by Benurrutia

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 06:11:06 PST

That is deep but anyone interested in learning more about Christian gods should watch the zeitgeist it is online and free to view!

"Days 207-211: Kiev": comment by Benurrutia

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 06:10:50 PST

That is deep but anyone interested in learning more about Christian gods should watch the zeitgeist it is online and free to view!

"Days 207-211: Kiev": comment by Flug Amerika

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 03:18:15 PDT

Yeah! That´s just a great story and I love the beginning the most :D !Awesome work!

"Days 207-211: Kiev": comment by Raymond Whiteside

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 13:27:12 PDT

Hm mm, a bit on the cavemanish side, wouldn’t you say, but an entertaining story.
Raymond

"Days 207-211: Kiev": comment by Kendall Sue

Mon, 7 Jul 2008 03:59:04 PDT

I’m sorry but I thought the male population had matured past this type of thinking. Guess I was wrong unfortunately!!!

"Days 207-211: Kiev": comment by Hypotheek

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 13:37:47 PST

hi Erik, nice story! reads like a novel!

"Days 207-211: Kiev": comment by Lynne

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 09:57:27 PDT

I agree… No only far fetched, bu also very demeaning..

"Days 207-211: Kiev": comment by Wendy

Wed, 6 Jun 2007 04:36:49 PDT

Seems a little far fetched to think that because women can not become preachers they become whores or drug addicts and the mafia profits.

"Days 207-211: Kiev": comment by Ukrainiec

Tue, 17 Apr 2007 06:15:55 PDT

It makes God less attractive to women – yes
So the Mafia profits – no

"Days 207-211: Kiev": comment by chaizzilla

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 14:35:29 PST

if you haven’t, and you can find the thing, it is said the best sherlock holmes movie ever made came from ukraine. good luck should you give this missiomn a whirl!

"Days 207-211: Kiev": comment by Mauro Alexandre

Fri, 3 Feb 2006 01:15:57 PST

Hi Erik,

I agree with your mom … Mr Icelandic Pizza Chef certainly has a very pessimistic thinking about women … Of course if you are going to date a girl you have met thru the net, either you can be deceived like he was, or you can also find very special and interesting people (I know some situations that worked perfectly well, including friends of mine and workmates).

The response you are going to get from other people is directly related with your feelings and
the way you act with them … Good feelings certainly will have good responses …

In some way the description you have made about Kiev is similar to what I had imagined about the
whole Russia : A very “grey and cold” place I wouldn’t like to visit, even if i could have the oportunity to do so !

"Days 207-211: Kiev": comment by Mariza Petrick

Thu, 2 Feb 2006 01:53:17 PST

Krido,
Mr Icelandic Pizza Chef’s misogyny, his convoluted thinking, the girls with multiple boyfriends used as their life-support system, the deserted luxury stores, all fit well in the grey/gloomy 2006 Kiev…Thank God for the diaper-wearing monkey sitting on the man’s shoulder…at least he is alive and real!

"Days 207-211: Kiev": comment by Marysia

Tue, 31 Jan 2006 22:53:41 PST

Hello Very Nice Fellow!
Have you ever seen “Little Britain” series? Well, there is an episode there, where a guy meets the girl that he found on the date site. She turns out to be an extremly fat and ugly Asian instead of a true beauty he’s been expecting to see.
I’ve seen a number or documentary movies concerning this subject. Girls that usually don’t speak any English sell themselves as future wives to reach and wealthy Western guys, most likely much older than themselves. I’d do the same. After I got to the UE or the US, I’d ran away from my ugly husband or give him some mushrooms. That would deal with him :)

"Days 207-211: Kiev" by erik

Tue, 31 Jan 2006 14:12:00 PST

“Haven’t you ever wondered why the Church doesn’t allow women to be preachers?”

“Not specifically,” I replied, throwing my pack on the bed. I sat down. Icelandic Pizza Chef sat down on the opposite bed.

“It makes God less attractive to women, so they all become whores and drug addicts.”

I blinked. I had nothing.

“So the Mafia profits!” He paused to let me connect the dots. I still had nothing. I proferred the blank look.

“And everyone knows that the Mafia and the Church work together. Don’t you see? It’s so simple.” Icelandic Pizza Chef settled his argument by clapping his hands together.

Taking a cue from Socrates, I asked “You, uh, think this is a big problem?

“Oh yes. I would say that probably 90% of all women are prostitutes and into drugs.”

Icelandic Pizza Chef had flown down to Kiev to meet a girl he’d found on an internet dating site. In fact, he’d had his first date with her the day I met him. Now he needed someone with whom to confer.

“Here, I will show you.” From out of a manilla envelope he pulled a stack of high quality, glossy printouts. He spread them out across our little desk. They looked like professional studio shots. Naturally, the subject was stunning and dressed in a fabric-economic fashion.

“She did not look anything like this in real life,” he commented, “maybe it was the makeup. I don’t know.”

The first hour and a half of the date they spent sitting a few tables apart, neither person recognizing the other. Icelandic Pizza Chef then walked to a phone booth, called the girl’s cell phone, and confirmed she was the one whose nervous glances he’d been avoiding. They spent the second hour and a half sitting at the same table, neither person having anything to say to the other.

“I think it went terribly,” Icelandic Pizza Chef told me, “she acted like she didn’t want to be there.”

“Well, what did you two talk about during your date?”

“Nothing. She speaks very little English, and I don’t know any Ukranian.”

She knew enough English to ask for 500 hryvnia (about 100 US dollars) to cover her train ticket back to Sumy, a nearby town. Actual cost of a ticket: 25 hryvnia.

“Don’t worry man—it happens to all of us,” I offered as meager consolation—sure, all men get taken in by Ukranian gold digging mail-order bride dropouts—“At least you’ve learned from the experience.”

“Yes, I have. I think tomorrow I will go to Sumy and find a cheap apartment. This way I will not have to pay for her train tickets.”

I laughed, although I don’t think he was joking. Godspeed, Icelandic Pizza Chef!

But who am I to criticize? Isn’t this simply a twist on value systems we all refer to when looking for a mate? Isn’t wealth just another facet of attraction? I saw this same culture of commercial relationships in both Russia and the Ukraine. It seems the fall of the old regime brought forth a whole new viciously status-conscious class of young people. Everybody wants it—that’s why they call it money.

Russia had some internal source of wealth upon which this new culture could cultivate. I lost count of the number of balding, plump officials I spotted in St. Petersburg, driving slick Volgas with black tinted windows, letting a fur coat-clad girl (who probably wasn’t his daughter) out of the passenger side. On the Moscow Metro, I sat next to an extremely fashionable girl holding a handbag with sequin lettering. It read, “If you’re rich, I’m single.”

But the Ukraine has had no such treasure trove, instead looking to the west for its future, waiting for the big payoff. There’s a strange sense of urgency and despair in Kiev. One afternoon I walked through a towering shopping complex, brand new, full of Guccis and Pradas, fluorescent escalators, Aston Martins spinning slowly inside impressive glass columns. All the stores were empty. Shopkeepers sat bored behind pristine counters. I sat down and had a coffee there, but I sort of felt like an asshole so I left not long after.

Rick was an American business consultant looking for investment opportunities in Kiev. He told me,

“So, these two Ukranian girls are at a cafe, having a chat over a cup of coffee.

One girl says to the other,’You know, I could really use an extra 500 dollars a month,’

‘That’s easy!’ replies the other. ‘Just get another boyfriend!’

‘But where do I find a boyfriend who will give me 500 dollars a month?’

‘Hmm, how about finding two boyfriends who can each give you 250 dollars a month?’

‘But that’s still so much!’

‘Then find three boyfriends who can each give you 150 dollars a month!’

‘Devushka,’ a man interrupts from a nearby table, ‘when you get down to 5 dollars, let me know.’”

The day before I left Kiev, I saw a man putting coins into a slot machine. A monkey was sitting on his shoulder, and the monkey was wearing a diaper. On the train back to Moscow, I met another ex-soldier named Max. Max had coordinated joint operations with U.S. soldiers at Westpoint. Max, his friends, and I shared much too much vodka that evening, and they all agreed that I was a very nice fellow.